Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
