either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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