dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize