I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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