Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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