i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
