it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
