I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
