Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
