once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize