please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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