Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize