I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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