If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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