I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
