apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
