I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
