The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
FUCK WHALES
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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