...so i touched it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
