Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize