Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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