You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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