So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize