Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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