if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
