It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
