she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
