So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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