I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
