Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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