It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
