I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize