I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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