I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
