Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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