i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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