fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
