I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My dick has a subreddit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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