so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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