Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
