I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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