youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
