i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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