"it" just moved
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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