Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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