you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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