There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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