were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
