OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
