9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
