Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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