I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
