i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
